Often when we talk about personal development or self-care we focus heavily on the “self” part of those terms. But what does personal growth really mean? To me it means that every day we try to become more than we were the day before—more kind, more empathetic, more patient, more gentle, more determined, more certain, you get where I’m going with this, more of all the good stuff! Those qualities and virtues that make us better people. BUT what is the point in becoming “better” people if we don’t use those qualities in action, to serve and interact with others? What I mean is: are we truly kind if not expressing it to someone else, how do we know if we are patient it we don’t exercise it in a situation involving other people? It is through our very interaction and service to others that we develop, test, and perfect these qualities of growth. And this is the kicker—the more we develop those qualities, the more we want to be of service; the more we serve, the more we grow those qualities and capacities and feel our hearts expand, because they have a mutually reinforcing relationship. For this reason developing our inner character and offering service to our fellow human beings are, in effect, inseparable.

We cannot segregate the human heart from the environment outside us and say that once one of these is reformed everything will be improved. Man is organic with the world. His inner life moulds the environment and is itself also deeply affected by it. The one acts upon the other and every abiding change in the life of man is the result of these mutual reactions. ~ Shoghi Effendi 

So what does this look like in practical terms? We have cultivated those daily habits that  help to foster growth, keep us nourished, strong, and moving forward: daily prayer and meditation to derive daily inspiration, guidance, and to maintain our connection with God, daily self-reflection, reflecting on gratitude, keeping our body healthy through exercise and good food, so that it has the strength to carry us through our journey. These are important, internal, personal growth practices that keep us focused and connected. Then we add that element of service into the mix which is completely outwardly focused, and it balances the internal growth, helping us to be useful in this world.

Service done solely for the sake of helping and connecting with another person brings joy and feelings of gratitude like nothing else. Why? Because at our core that is our true purpose. In serving others, in making a contribution to this world, we are aligning ourselves to our truth, we are nourishing our souls just like we nourish our bodies with a delicious meal. We are being true to ourselves at our deepest core. It feels good. 

Serving others also allows us to reflect on our own life and realize how much we have to be grateful for, and helps to put our reality into perspective. Does life feel hard? Go serve in a homeless shelter or orphanage. Does life feel like it has no meaning, go and serve in a hospice where people are reflecting on the value of this life as they face their own mortality. There is nothing like service to others who are in circumstances more difficult than our own to bring a sense of humility, gratitude, and a shift in perspective on our own lives that pushes us to grow more. In this exposure and act of service, our hearts and minds will grow.

Remember the goal here is to make serving others an integral part of daily life, not something we do a few times a year, on specials holidays. It doesn’t have to be grand things all the time, or with special organizations. It can be all the little things that we incorporate into our days when we act with the intention of being of service to others.

Can I make Jane smile today? Can I pay for John’s coffee? Can I take dinner over to May, who just had a baby? Can I send a sweet note to Sue who is going through a tough period? Can I open the door for a stranger? Can I help an elderly person carry their groceries to their car? Can I call my sister and offer to watch her kids so she can have a night out with her husband? Can I visit a friend and say a few prayers with them during a time of need? These relatively small actions, do not take huge amounts of time or effort, but what a difference it would make if all of us were doing these small things for each other every day!

All these seemingly small acts of service can add up to great change, just like a whole lot of small drops of water can add up to an ocean when they flow together. Let’s be those drops, let’s become that ocean!