“The reality of man is his thought, not his material body.” ~ ‘Abdu’l-Bahá 

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.” ~ Buddha

These quotes literally blow my mind. They suggest that how we think about our lives and the tasks we have ahead of us, can affect how we approach them and how successful we are at achieving them. And this is the thing—we are all in control of our own thoughts! No one else can be in our heads, but us. That means that we have the power to alter our life’s outcomes by changing our thoughts. Where is the brain exploding emoji when you need it? Oh wait 🤯!

Can we break this down for a minute? Where do our beliefs about ourselves and our reality come from? Probably from what the people most influential in our lives have told us about ourselves, and from moments with heightened emotional significance—where we succeeded or failed, where we celebrated or lost, where we were loved or hurt—those moments and those people help to form our perception of who we are and what we believe we are capable of. They become the voices in our head that tell us what we can accomplish and what we are capable of. But does that make them true? Maybe; maybe not. We need to stop and reflect on who we are allowing to be a voice in our life. What quality of person are we surrounding ourselves with, what mentors do we have, what books are we reading, what media are we paying attention to? 

If our thoughts become our reality, we need to make sure what’s going on in our head, what we are thinking about, planning, aspiring to, believing about ourselves, really represents the reality we want to have and want to build in our lives. Our thoughts and beliefs are our choice. They may be molded in our childhood, but as adults, we can choose to continue to believe those thoughts and perceptions about ourselves and our potential. If someone tells you that you could never accomplish your dreams, you have the power to not believe them and go for it anyway, and with gusto!

What does this mean in practical terms? We need to really reflect on who we are giving control to in our lives. Do the people we are spending most of our time with reflect the values we want for ourselves? Are they positive, supportive influences? Do we have a mentor to guide us on the path of growth we are trying to walk? We need to reflect on our daily habits—what are we reading, what media are we consuming? For example, if you are a woman struggling with a negative self-image, but following tons of women on social who are made up, retouched, and only showing their best angles and best moments, and seeing them makes you feel even more inadequate, then stop following them! Only consume what builds you up, motivates you, inspires you, and fills you with joy, so you can fuel yourself and others with that energy.

For me maintaining a healthy mindset is very much ingrained in my daily habits and practices. My primary beliefs are always informed (and re-informed on a daily basis) by the prayers and Writings of my Faith. They remind me every day where my focus is, that I am a noble being, that I am a spiritual being, walking through a physical life, that I need to work to keep my ego in check and not becoming attached to all the trappings of this world, that I am here to raise my family to the best of my ability, to build my marriage into a fortress of well-being, and to serve my greater community. 

There is a quote in the Bahá’í Writings from ‘Abdu’l-Bahá that says, “when a thought of war comes, oppose it by a stronger thought of peace. A thought of hatred must be destroyed by a more powerful thought of love.” This is something we need to practice every day in our lives. If we have a thought of self-negativity, we need to replace it with one which reminds us that we are noble beings and have the potential for great accomplishments. If we start to think something based in hate, we need to replace it with something based in love. If we start to feel jealous of what someone else has, we need to stop and think of all we have to be grateful for in our own lives. If we find ourselves in a negative spiral thinking about how bad everything is in the world, we need to stop and think about all the good things there are instead. 

Even those seemingly casual thoughts we have just moving through our daily checklist—instead of “I have to go to work”, think “I get to go serve people today and earn money to support my family while doing it”, instead of “I have to go workout now”, think “I get to workout and bless my body with health and strength”. This is where our self-control comes into play. We can control our thoughts, therefore we can control our reality. 

Now you may say to me, hang on, just because I think, “I want a better job”, doesn’t mean it’s going to be offered to me. Yes, you’re right, we need to be realistic here. I’m not trying to imply that we’re all genies making wishes come true. There is a difference between wishes, and beliefs that lead to positive action. Everything in life worth having requires effort and hard work. If something is just dropped in your lap, you don’t really appreciate it (at least not in the long run) as much as you would something that you truly earned. It’s just how we, as humans, are wired.

But it is a well-established phenomena that if you think more positively, you will see more good in the world. If you walk into your days acknowledging all you have to be grateful for in your life, you will see more things in your day that make you grateful. If you are kind to others, you will receive more kindness in return. If you build others up instead of tearing them down, you will have more genuine friendships and people building you up in turn. This is how our thoughts (turned into actions) impact our reality. The reverse is equally true, if you tell yourself you will never be good enough, or smart enough, and will fail, then you probably will. That is the power our thoughts have over our actions and their outcomes.

What about if we want to achieve a goal? If you tell yourself that you are capable of reaching for it, sit down, and write out what you need to do to accomplish it and then starting working towards it—your reality will open up to this possibility. Just because you have envisioned in your mind where you want to go and how you are going to get there, and you write it down, you will start to see pieces of the puzzle coming together, because you are looking for those pieces in your daily life and are aware of heading in a certain direction with clarity. And when you hit a roadblock in your path, you have the power to stop yourself from thinking “defeat”, “can’t do this”, “not capable”, “not good enough” and replace it with, “I’m going to get back up, dust off, figure out what I learnt from this experience, and keep moving forward because I am a noble being with God-given capacities and have the potential to make a difference in my life and in others”. We just have to harness those powers to change the trajectory of our lives, and acknowledge that it will require effort and discipline, but it is those very things that will give us a sense of accomplishment when we have reached our goals.

How have you used the power of thought to make positive changes in your life?